10 best and stuff

well its the end of the year and i have to say its been a really tough one! i mean really! i really hope 2006 lets up a bit.
so here is my top 10 records of the year
1 dead meadow "feathers"
2 sunn0)) "black 1"
3 devendra banhart "cripple crow"
4 angels of light / acron family
5 xiu xiu "la for tet"
6 tiny viperss "st" /johana kunin "sighlense" kelp quarterly
7 grumpy bear "hmmm were a little bit lonely these days"
8 chad vangaalen "infinite heart"
9 auto pilot
10 the cure "faith" reissue with "carnage visiors"

im just back from the Hospital after a 6 day stay with pancreatitis its pretty terrible and i think from now on im gonna eat celery forever.
happy new year!

in the corners there is light.....

hey its the day after thanksgiving and i have been working on the my space eif page. i added some buttons with nifty html. you can buy "ghosts are knocking on walls", "the cold hands ep", and the new 4way split "if we were trees" right from me using pay pal. i also added a i tunes button!!! 2 of my old demos "vents" and "the telephone is breathing" are avaliable on itunes, so now you can get to them on the my space page.
in other news i exhibition of my work that was featured in the Portland Modern magazine will be hapening sometime in february. it will mostly be drawings of natural disasters and nervous ghosts. good times.
There are 2 eif live shows in december. the 6th at acme with joanah khunin and tiny vipers, and december 14th at ash street. for this one id like to ask anyone in portland who has a beard to show up and do your best deliverence impressions. this will be funny only to me but hey im worth it.
oh and i almost forgot that the 4 way split that i mentioned above is done and shipping to happy customers. but is limited to only 100 copies. so get one while they last.

ghosts and explosions and a little goblin

so last nigh around 6 ish i was just making dinner and let me tell you it was looking real good. i was using my bright orange microwave (left over from the time when everything was se thru colorred plastic to try to look like a imac) and then there was this bright explosion out in the street. it was like fireworks right out in front of the house, sparks were falling as a cluter of wires were bursting into flames in the front yard. the plastic started melting off the wires and driped to the ground in little firey droplets. the fire dept showed up and they just kinda stood there looking up at this little firecracker in the sky like the rest of us. every minute or so it would explode till the wires were all burned up and the power to all the houses on the block was out. its strange to me when the power goes out. its like someone unpluged life and you are in this little limbo. its quiet and it would be nice if you werent so worried about getting the tv back on. i never think that it will bother me but when it happens its like " ok so now what do we do" there was some talk about going to a hotel for the night. then large trucks arrived, i was laying on the couch pretending they were aliens with gus. imagining all the mechanical sounds were spaceships and robots. lots of hustle and a nap later the lights were back on. it was a pretty show though. dinner was ruined but i ate what was salvagable today it wasnt bad. this neighborhood is a pretty lively one.

in this dream im in a old house all wood and dark. and im aware that its haunted and im starting to realize that im the only one in the house that can see the ghosts. they appear like dark shadowy fog and float after me. the closer they get the more i can make out the particular nature of each ghost. there is one ghost that scares me so much that i go crazy and scream at the top of my lungs and rol up in a ball when ever it comes in the room. it looks like a shadow of a slim person but thats all i can see. its so full of dread and evil. after a while i start running into the dark clouds when they apperar like some knda wierd commakazi. i dont know why im doing this. but it seems to help, i mean its really terrible each time i do it but it kinda makes them less in number. but it makes me compleetly crazy so by the end im just a pile of goo in the corner.

gus not only had the flu he had the 2nd confirmed case of dog flu in oregon!!! he is much better now and has stoped snotting on all the surfaces. he loves to bark now . and when i call him a little goblin he looks at me and shakes.

i was told that january or february might be when an exhibition of my new drawings might occur. mark brandau of portland modern is doing a great job of managing all the art stuff for me these days. im really glad he is around. he even sold one of my drawings !!! to someone in sanfrancisco! sometimes its nice when life is not such a struggle. its like you push and you push and every once in a while it slips a little for you. and its like this exhale. "sometimes everything is easy"
but hardly ever.

gus has the flu

in this one im driving to work early in the morning like i always do its dark and rainy. but as i set out i have to avoid cats lots of them running out of the woods and into the street in front of my car. the further i go the more cats come running in waves. adn all the whole time there is this lottery billboard flashing 20 million in big red letters. gus is my dogs name, gus has the flu

derek has no head

this is a great dream that derek jo brocket sent me. its so good that i thought id post it. good times-

this was all a dream! you see. .well, there was this head on the top shelf of my closet. it seemed as if only i knew it was there. it was alive. it would talk and bob around as if it knew it all. short cropped hair and wrinkled face. i got sick of its shit and got a chair, climbed up to the top, and let the head have it. i saw the head was dead then, but no blood, then it sort of exploded in it to the point where it is a big mess. i get paranoid, but i remember that no body even knows the head exists but me. then people start asking about the head, 'how-s the head? they ask. the head's children come around asking, 'have you seen the head?' it is awful. then weeks later in reality, i see that the head is really somebody that is in the news as of late.

- so derek where is the head?
so robert is out of town this week he hates sushi and most asian foods. so while he is gone me and stephen are eating silly amounts of pan asian delights. our bellies full with delights and seasonings from afar.

also we are givng a home to a dog we met at the humane society. his new name is Gus (his old name was "jungles") he is a little short hair jack russel puppy. he beggs and howels. he is perfect.

ok so eif news and stuff...ok there are 2-3ish things in the works. some releases mostly all waiting my print gocco japanese printing machine. well the first thing that will likely get finished is the tract records 4 way split cd with songs from me derek joe brockett, theath, and grumpy bear. the packaging will be tree theemed. and will be done in a month or so.
the next thing to be compleated is a little artist book to be accompanied with a heavy lids disk as a sound track. its gonna be limeited to 100 hand made copies. and probably will be sold at shows and on the website somehow and maybe at gallery shows.
sleepy now
time for bed

maybe ill drive a semi someday

so i had this thought the other day and really the whole thing is embarrasing (robert told me how to spell that) . i was driving in my car and i passed a big semi tractor trailor and i thought to myself that ill probably never know what its like to drive one. well for some reason this really bummed me out. i never really knew that i wanted to drive one but the thought of dying without ever sitting behind the wheel really distrubed me. what ever so to make myself feel better i made a pact with myself that i would not turn down the opportunity if it arose... turning 31 has been a little strange for me. among the realizations that came to me on my birthday were the awareness of some strange mental habbits. i realize that every and i mean every single time im in the car and i see mag wheels on another car i think about how much fun it would be to stick a carrot (yes carrot) into the moving wheel. the other thing i do is pretend that i have a powerfull laser that i hold and cut all the trees down for miles and miles and miles.... i bet your afraid that ill be driving a truck thinking all these batty things. and your right to be i guess.

the pope game

my art is featured in the new issue of portland modern http://www.radiusstudio.com/portlandmodern/ . so just watching tv and i realized that space age polymer = good. just an observation. it seems like if it were just a polymer it woldnt be special. so the last dream was pretty odd. i was on a reality show taht was ment to pick the next pope. but it was done "this is your life" style. so i "naturaly" was the favorite to be pope. and part of the show was showing the good deeds adn miracles each contestant had done in their life. i had 2 wonderfull things to my credit. the first was a emotional graphic showing of footage of me performing some wierd foot surgurey on someone where i choped off someones foot and attached it to someone else. i was so moved by the showing of this that i almost started crying in my floating barber chair that i was sitting in. the second thing i invented a doughnut filled with meat.... kinda like a hamburger tempua..... but i guess this was good enough to make me pope.

bad beam up

sometimes i think im way too sensative. there are way more than a couple of things that are cllues. the first is that i cry when i listen to npr... not when they play the news that just makes me mad. but when they play stuff with a sad sound track about some "human story" i cry like a baby. also this morning i was watching star trek1 and the part when they go to beam up the people and there is some sort of malfunction and the people get all screwed up and then captain kurk gets the message back "what we got back here didnt live very long thankfully" man that distrubed me so much...... all day i have been thinking about what the people must have looked like configured wrongly in the little transporter thingy. horrible mental images.... i think i need to go eat some nutty bars to make me feel better. mmm nutty bars. ok so right buisness!!! ok so i played at the fez ball room last week and it was probably one of my favorite places to play so far in portland. like a dark comfy opium den. so they asked me to join the bill this thursday and i said yes. so my plan is to play more jamy space noisy stuff this time. and i have been thinking of playing the mf cover dreaming moon. the mf comp that sctas is doing is almost all filled out and has some great stuff on it. last night i drempt that i had 3 microwaves a small one that could only fit bagels. my current smallish orange i mac inspired sharp (that i love ) and a very large one that could cook very large things. i had no idea that my subconcious was so worried about this. but maybe i need more cooking capacity and it all needs to be done with micro waves. oh oh oh and i got a talking japanese watch. it tells teh time i think.

september 22nd

Hey just a note to let you that im playing sept 22nd at the fez
316 sw 11th
Late notice as usual I play at 9
Sorry for the short notice
But if you feel like it come on out
Thanks
marc

grub, ferett, beaver.

ok new dream. me robert and stephen are walking around a tropical island looking for houses i guess im not sure. and in the dream there is this raido commentary going on describing where we are and what we are doing. so as we walk around we notice that everyone is making these large wood hat shapes that are the size of walls. so the commentary is saying that the natives of the island when they go out at night wear huge hats that they made from wooden forms during the day. so as we are walkling around i notice what lookes like a long strand of grass that has fallen around my neck, the closer i look at it the more i realise that its a bug. it has little legs and creepy little eyes. so i throw it on the grownd and it starts to kinda turn into a grub looking insect and me and stephen start trying to squish it. so we are stomping on it over and over and its not dying but its flailing around like its in terrible pain and its struggling. and its terrible so we start trying harder to kill it so we can put it out of its mysery. so its little face starts looking diferent like a ferret or something and we are stepping on it and its looking kinda more and more like a ferret. so robert yells at us to stop so we do. and it is shaking and starts to look like its getting better. so it starts growing fur and eventually turns into a bever and we hug and cuddle with it. we love it and it loves us. so we decide to keep it as a pet.
so i got a box of the new cd the other day looks really great. its distributued thru parasol and choke so if you want to order it for your store you can get it there. ok thats all for now. my little sister says that if big foot spoke spanish she would ask him "how much" and "see you tomorrow" . i would say to him "what is your name" and " i dont speak spanish".

return to me

well my car is back home safe and sound. it went on a joy ride with some hoodlums. but they only stole my cheep sunglasses. im glad little honda is back. so the great blog bedroom dancing posted a nice review of the new cd ghosts are knokcking on walls you can read it here http://bedroomdancing.typead.com/ and its out and finished and stuff so you can buy it here http://www.tractrecords.com. well i have lots of new stuff im working on i have a whole albums worth of heavy lids stuff that im trying to decide what to do with. im also working on a project called "red weather tigers" for this i have done some niftly tiger drawings and send some basic ideas of songs to thomas heath "theath" who is also a co conspirator, along with the guys form grumpy bear. more here as it happens. i did have a pretty interesting dream a couple days ago about big foot speaking spanish and being the size of a baboon. but its already been too long and i cant remember the good parts.

poor black honda

i have a bunch of new dreams i wanted to post but im to disturbed to post them due to the recent theft of my car. im really upset. poor thing is was such a good car, now its alone and scared and with some bad tv style hoodlums. i hope they dont hurt it. please bring my little honda back. i wish i had theft insurence. that car has been with me since i lived in philly. i always knew it was to good a car for me. poor lil thing. ok ill post some dreams tomorrow

i broke roberts toe

today i broke roberts toe. too much rough housing...
thomas at tract records has sent all the art for the release of "ghosts are knocking on walls" to the duplicating company. so its just a matter of time. release date is late august.
last night i drempt that there was a tiger, lion, and puma in the house. they were all angry and hungry and in dog cages. they broke out and i spent all my time trying to find a safe place to sleep and not get killed by big cats.

velcro kidneys

playing july 21st at noir 203 se grand at 11pm.
in diabeties class this week the teacher had a shirt with piillow stuffed organs velcrowed to it. when she would talk about kidneys she would rip the stuffed one off her smock and hold it victorious in the air like a viking the sick sound of velcro ripping still echoing in the air.

your cursed, im cursed, were all cursed, big deal.

so i had a pretty wierd dream and it was about 3 people (none of which were anyone i know) who are all being chased by ghosts of abusive dead parents. they are actually being chased around the world by these ghosts. and they see various therapists to help them deal with the ghosts in hopes of becoming well. here is a line one of the characters a woman said that keeps ringing in my head as kinda funny. she is talking to her a therapist after almost being run down by a car driven by the ghost of her father. and being forced to eat a whole rolled up bolt of carpet as some wierd ritual to temporarly banish her ghost for a bit. while here and her 2 other characters sit regrouping after the incident she says. " doctor im not sure im dealing well with the mental time travel nessasary to make me well. i keep getting lost" . I think the reason that this is resonating with me is that introspection is something that is really important to do from time to time and its kinda like a mental time travel, and its really easy to get lost and confused. there are so many ways that your brain can trick you. This dream had a lot of similarities to the movie i saw a couple days ago called "howls moving castel" . in the movie all the main characters have a curse on them and the plot follows how the characters deal with eachother trying to help eachother and some times hindering eachother all in the parameters of each individual curse. in my dream all the characters are being pursued by the ghosts of dead parents. they all try to help eachother but also get pulled into the others struggle. this is so much like human life. except the curse we are all under is our own baggage. i have yet to meet someone who is baggage free. the perills of human life is not only your baggage but the effects of every one elses baggage in our lifes path. in my dream the main characters start to realize that they will never out run these ghosts. and in the movie the characters never really get their curses lifted. they just kind of deal with it all. its a balancing act how to not let your baggage inpact to greatly on someone else and how not ot fall to far into someone elses personal battle that you for get your own path, or you get lost all together. so i guess the moral of my dream is dont get lost in your own head, dont get lost in someone elses head, dont do either as an excuse to get out of doing what you really need to do in order to better your self. dont be too self absorbed that you pull others into your dramma. know when its good to lend a hand and when its a trap. know when to stop thinking about it. like now. its really all pointless to worry about any way.

lolita and holywood forever

so tonight i had the pleasure of watching the old movie lolita in the holywood forever cemetary in holywood. they projected it on the wall of a mosaleaum in the center of the cemetery. there were a ton of people there. they all camp out on this empty grassy area and wait till it gets dark wile a dj plays exotica . and you are flanked by palm trees and crypts and orange glowing dusky sky. and what a great movie. i was in creature comfort bliss with my snacks and blankets and newly purchased target folding chair. adn all for 10 clams. what a great time. im itching to get back to portland and start practicing for my show on thursday. i also have the artwork for "ghosts are knocking on walls" finished i just need to order a sticker and narrow down a pantone color. but things are moving really fast on it. im glad its been waiting for 2 years to be heard so that makes me feel good. i had some dreams last night but i cant remember them. i saw a strange dream like movie called howls moving castel the other day and i think it has shorted my dream recog function by being such a strange one. its good though i suggest you go check it out if you like random plot shifts and japanese animation. ok good night

pile of hair in the woods

so there was this story on the news about a pile of human hair found by a hiker in the cascades. and its all i can do to not picture this pile of blond locks sitting shaded by pines with a thin shaft of light illuminating it like some shrine to a mysterious saint. any way i think that as omnious as it seems its probably some wacky hair cut gone wild. a hiker decides he needs a haircut or something. but it will be the desk top image of my brain for some time. the show at noir last night went really well. i playled some new songs and recorded a bad cassete of the show for thomas at tract. here is the list of songs 1 whistle song. i have been starting my set with this one lately. its also on the new comp ball of wax. 2 was a new song called HERE COMES THE ICE about wierd killer ice storms. 3rd was devil in your smile 4th amyl nitrate 5th long night, 6th candels an old bogy creek re make. 7th the forrest a new one about killer monsters in teh woods. levi fuller adnd amateur radio operator put on great shows. they are great guys. im playing again at noir next week the 21st at 11. ill post more about that later. i wonder how many un discovered piles of hair lay cozy in the setting rays of the sun nesstled amongst pine needles there are tonight. i hope they sleep well tonight.

levitating nervous

funny thing i overheard today at the chinese buffet today. cranky old man says to his whining wife "if you want sympathy you can find it in the dictionary between shit and shitless" he he, the real funny part is that smypathy is not between shit and shitless in the dictionary. i just got the mp3 file today of tiger saw's cover of my song "mt erebus" for tracts comp of swapped songs. it sounds so great that i dont think it deserves to be called my song anymore. they did a great job. i covered pink nasty's trench coat blues. it was challenging. i dont think i quite hit the mark on it. but its all done and its out of my hands. ok so here is last nights dream. im in a college dorm and its christmas break so no one is there. its not the dorm that i went to school at. but im there alone and i decide that i want to go looking thru everyones stuff for entertainment. so as im snooping here and there, and i hear running water. it turns out that there is someone else in the builting and they are taking a shower in the halway. so i manage to hide before the halway showerer sees me. but just as that happnes all the students are suddenly there in my panic as im trying to run away i notice i can float glide and levitate. so the rest of my dream is me getting better at it and levitating all over the palce. i woke up thinking i could still do it. i really almost dove into the air when i got up. it was pretty wierd. i thought about it all day that id never know i couldnt glide if i didnt try it. and maybe if i really believed it it woudl happen. i want to be a flying man. always have.

fast comets

i started practacing for my show at noir on the 13th of july today. maybe try some new songs and noises and stuff. it was a little frustrating. today had a wierd vibe. i guess any day that has bombings all over npr makes for a tense day. at work im flanked by guys who think we should nuke the middle east and korea. i feel so tired of defending my liberal point of view so id dont argue anymore. and it seems anymore that everyone is turning agressive republican. it really bugs me. ahhh well.
on another note it seems that tract records is going to fast track the release of the cd i recorded in philly at sound gun almost 2 years ago "ghosts are knocking on walls" along with a split 7" with dereck joe brockett out in the fall. busy busy busy i think the 7" is gonna come with a button. neat. the highlight of today was a video on nasa.gov that showed a commet smacking into a probe. the images are cold black adn white and beautifull. thats all for today

shirts and mountains and late for work

so last nights dream was more of an anxiety dream about impending return to work on tuesday. i lived with my wife (wich is strange on many levils) in a house that is kinda like a tree house way up in the mountains kinda like a floating house. the house hase a wooden deck around it and below that is just clouds. so i get up late for work and i need to find work shirts. but my work shirts are on a line that streaches out to mt hood adn im tugging on this line and its all urgent and im almost falling off. but i did get all my shirts off the lilne. the whole time my wife is slamming doors and screaming. she has a blurry face. this is a strange one in that is it so boring. funny how such a boring dream can be such a action packed adventure when you are having it . "the sagga of the shirts on a high close line" a ablock buster for sure. mt st hellens did something yesterday. some of the lava dome caved in or something. the usgs is so slow to report new stuff. i have to admit that i was a little disapointed to hear that the dome collapsed. i had heard something that if it kept growing that in 10 years it would look kinda like it did before it blew in 1980 and i was hoping to watch a mountain grow. then it would blow up all over again. mt st hellens seems to know that we want . its like a ratings monger. im glad volcanoes are finally getting off the whole thousand years between activity thing. we humans get bored fast. mt st hellens delivers the goods thats all. so i was looking forward to watching a mountain form in 10 years instead of 1000. maybe im too impatient. i had this daydream the other day where i was staring at the table and thinking about atoms. (everyone does that right???) any way i was thinking about that twilight zone where there is a race of microscpoic icon buliding people. do you know that one? any way i was thinking about how the solar system is kinda like a mollecule or an atom. and maybe the whole thing is kinda like when you take 2 mirrors and place them side by side and get the never ending room thing. well what if planets and atoms are like that never ending in both scales. huh probably not.

motor candel

my first post. woo hoo , well today i learned how to change a spark plug on my vespa. for the first time i did something involving a engine that worked. man it feels good. i have been spending a lot of time lately watching gay softball. and im suprised how entertaining it is. lots of witty banter. and no one seems all that upset if they loose. and the chants are pretty funny. last night i vistited my friend scott while he was dj-ing at the dirty duck. its always neat to go to a gay bar and hear good old metal. he also gave me a alice cooper cd that ill listen too in my car soon. the night ended with me racing home as fast as i could hoping to make it to my bathroom. it was a race against time but i won. thank god. i had some bazar dreams about nuclear motorcycles. there was a warehouse that i stumbled on . dont know why i was looking thru warehouses but i was and i found this one and it had a red nuclear motorcycle. when you started it a wave of nuclear evil fire would go flowing out in a circle around the bike. so my dream was basicly me hiding everytime someone wanted to start the nuclear motorcycle. which was about every couple seconds. i would go running behind stuff leaping and diving. sounds funny but i woke up in sweats. oh yeah and i woke up on an air mattress. maybe thats the problem. sleeping on the floor in a basement is like tempting all the evil spiders in the house to come climb in your ears and make a home. i checked thought and im ok and spider free. i think.